MAFS relationship expert Mel Schilling has revealed the exact questions you need to ask on dates once you are over 30 including whether or not you actually want to be monogamous

MAFS Relationship expert Mel Schilling says people over 30 should talk about wanting kids early

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Relationship expert reveals the EXACT questions you should ask on dates if you are over 30 – and it might be hard to hear for some

  •  Relationship expert Mel Schilling has revealed top questions to ask on dates
  • The advice is geared toward men and women who are over 30, she explained
  • They are aimed at working out whether you are aligned with key issues

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Relationship expert Mel Schilling has revealed the exact questions you need to ask on dates once you are over 30 including whether or not you actually want to be monogamous.

The psychologist turned confidence coach explained both men and women also need to be direct when it comes to wanting a family to avoid heartache later.

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In an piece for Yahoo the MAFS relationship coach explained singles need to ask themselves what their goal is before they hit the scene.

MAFS relationship expert Mel Schilling has revealed the exact questions you need to ask on dates once you are over 30 including whether or not you actually want to be monogamous

MAFS relationship expert Mel Schilling has revealed the exact questions you need to ask on dates once you are over 30 including whether or not you actually want to be monogamous

They need to ask if they are ready for a monogamous relationship, if they want to be parents and how far in the future they see that happening,’ she explained.

‘Know Thyself is the best advice here – by being self-aware and honest with yourself about what you really want, you can be upfront with your dates so that expectations are clear from the outset,’ she said.

She added that it is important for men to know where they are in their life cycle, and to be up front at all times to avoid wasting a date’s time.

Poll

Would you talk about wanting kids on a first date?

  • Yes, it’s a dealbreaker. 30 votes
  • No, how awkward! 82 votes
  • Yes, if they brought it up! 68 votes

‘If you do want kids, be sensitive about the way you discuss this if you are dating a woman. The fertility journey can be fraught with challenges, pain, fear, expectations and disappointment for many women,’ she warned.

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Women also need to work out whether they want to start a family and be aware that it could become more difficult with every passing year.

‘Whilst I don’t believe you ‘owe’ your date anything, especially on a first date, it’s a good opportunity to test the water in terms of alignment about the baby issue,’ she said.

Working out if you actually align when it comes to core values avoids heartache later - especially when it comes to monogamy and building a family

Working out if you actually align when it comes to core values avoids heartache later - especially when it comes to monogamy and building a family

Working out if you actually align when it comes to core values avoids heartache later – especially when it comes to monogamy and building a family

What key questions should you ask? 

You should ask open-ended questions which help identify whether your morals and future goals align.

It is important to know where a future partner stands on the following:

Children

Monogamy

 What makes them angry

Their long-term goals

What they are passionate about 

Asking questions to check baby alignment without ‘adding too much pressure’ is key, she explained.

She also suggested open questions about what life looks like in ten years rather than ‘walking them through your endometriosis journey’.

People should also know their core values before heading into the dating world, especially if they are looking for a long-term relationship.

You can check if your potential partner’s values align by asking more open ended questions which show their motivations, frustrations, passions and pet hates.

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These questions can be fun, and include asking them to recount their best holiday experiences. 

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